Bostonist
Boston Bicycle Film Fest Day 2
Bostonist, MA - 16 Aug 2008
In offering up reasons for being a bike messenger, Eric suggests that it could be for the fun of riding, it could be because they don’t want to work inside ...

Millportpoloco results have finally been posted here. Note that a local appears to have won the overall, thanks to some last-minute stitch-up that I would have been proud of. Disgusting, shocking...

If you're not from New York (or if you're like me and you generally ignore the news), you may not know that a bill is in the works that would ban drivers from texting on their cellphones, handheld organizers, electronic Twinkies, or whatever else people are using to send and receive text messages, within the New York City limits. Frankly, I had just assumed texting while driving was already illegal in New York, just like talking on a cellphone while driving is. I mean, why would one be legal and not the other? Moreover, texting is way more distracting than just talking. I don't think you should be allowed to do anything with your cellphone while you're driving, but you can at least still look at the road while you're talking. Allowing texting but not talking while driving is like saying it's OK to carry a gun and to shoot people with it, but you can't use the gun to bludgeon anybody.

Law or no law, driving while using a cellphone is still a major problem here in New York, and a high percentage of the drivers who cut me off, back into me, stop abruptly in front of me, or slowly merge into me like they're trying to perform reverse cellular mitosis are also doing something with a cellphone. (Usually, that involves cradling them lovingly in the folds of their neck fat.) Which is why I was pleased to encounter this gentleman:

You'd just expect a fellow with slicked-back hair driving a vintage Mercedes convertible on a summer day in downtown Manhattan to be talking on a cellphone, but he wasn't. And I say, "Good for him!" In fact, I'm thinking about doing a series of PSAs in which I try to convince drivers they can still flaunt their vehicles and themselves without using cellphones while they do it, and if I do I'm using this guy for the first ad. The copy could say something like:
"Bret Easton Ellis called. He wants his main character back. But this guy didn't answer. Why? Because he knows convertibles and hair gel are cool, but talking and texting while driving isn't. So be cool. Don't drive distracted."

Plus, when you've got a cellphone stuck to the side of your head all the time, you tend to miss some of the riches the streets of New York (or in this case, of Brooklyn) have to offer. Like this:


Yup, a genuine "Hino," for the low, low price of $110. I would have called the owner myself, but I was behind the wheel of my Hummer and I didn't want to break the law by using my cellphone--especially while driving on the sidewalk, where you need to pay extra-close attention.
You also miss gems like this:



Fixedgeargallery and Velospace are fine, but fixed-gears are also naturally occurring and sometimes the best ones are out there in the wild. To see one this nice though you have to come to Brooklyn. (There's no way the owner of this bike ever takes it into Manhattan, because that chain wouldn't last a second there. You might as well just tie the bike to a tree with a pair of pantyhose.) I'm particularly "feeling" the padding on both the top tube and the stem, the thermal sippy cup, and the cosmetic wrapping around the seat cluster. Note also the front wheel is unlocked despite ample chain slack, in keeping with the current style.

This is the sort of thing that corporations like The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company try to appropriate, reproduce, and sell, but simply can't. Take this bike, for example, which was forwarded to me by a reader:



challenge:design the ultimate urban assault bike
welcome to the district.the fast own the streets and they live [obscured by downward-tilted saddle]don't get caught and don't die.
hang on if you can.or get back to the 'burbs.
I'm glad to see Trek have picked some of the goofier elements of urban fixed-gear bicycles, divorced them from their ostensible purposes, and welded them together into this...thing. Looking at this, I feel like Kramer's fake boss at Brant Leland: "I don't know what this is supposed to be." Is it for going fast in a straight line? Some sort of drag bike, maybe? Do people who live in cities want bikes with long wheelbases that aren't designed to turn quickly? Is the 650c for mad bar spinzzz? Will it clear the downtube? Or is it just to be aero? What's the point of the rear brake only? What's the point of any of it?!? And why is a company from Wisconsin implying that anybody who's understandably too afraid to ride this contraption needs to "get back to the 'burbs?" Do they even have cities in Wisconsin from which to retreat?

Maybe someone at Trek saw this thing on Fixedgeargallery and wanted to emulate it:


We've seen gorilla bikes again and again; however, in this case I don't think that's what's riding this bike. Instead, I think it's somebody who's slowly training his body so that one day he may engage in the ancient and elusive practice of autofellatio. If this bike was photographed in front of a yoga studio then that will clinch it for me. By the time those bars reach the front axle I wouldn't expect to see this guy leaving his house much anymore.
Autofellatio may take determination, but so does making your first project bike come together:

...since the frame is 62cm it requires a very long steer tube and the one the fork came with wasn't long enough so with some help from my uncle I had a solid piece of aluminum turned down on the lathe to the exact diameter as the 1 1/8 steer tube on both the inside and outside out the pipe, then it was welded throughly around the seem and now it's very solid and an inch and a half longer. Since the frame is intended for an integrated headset and the fork I had wasn't integrated I had to machine down the standard 1 1/8 threadless headset down just enough to drop it in the frame only the upper cup need work, them I filled the gap where the internal bearings should have been with some tight fitting o rings and buttoned it all together.

Firstly, I'm pretty sure if Leader make a 62cm bike they'll also sell you a fork to go with it. Secondly, I'm also pretty sure a fork couldn't care less whether it's used with a standard or an integrated headset, provided it's got the right race on it. In any case, this baby's had more front-end butchery than Jennifer Grey. I'd be even more afraid to ride it than that Trek thing. I guess I need to get back to the 'burbs.

But how can I? There are just so many great things to see here. Especially in Brooklyn, which has become so trendy that people on Bedford Ave. are now--quite literally--wearing trash bags:


It's Mugatu's Derelicte!

Hopefully, we will be toasting the success of the Moving Target team at the tournament, but if the boys go out in the first round, I will be toasting them all the same. And what better place to do...

Years ago, as I swept the sidewalk in front of a local store on a sweltering summer day (not pro bono, mind you--I actually worked in the store), I gazed up at the hazy sky and contemplated my lot. Just then, a co-worker about four times my age stepped outside to have a cigarette and joined me. He leaned against a parking meter or something, regarded me meaningfully, wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, "these are the dog days."

Indeed they were, and indeed they are. I still hear his voice on days like today, when it's hot, it's been hot for awhile, and people seem to have only two modes--moving slowly, and fighting with each-other. I certainly heard it yesterday during my commute. It actually compelled me to stop on a Chinatown sidewalk, cool down, observe the street scenes I usually just ride past, and once again contemplate my lot. Unfortunately, though, my contemplations were drowned out by the sounds of a nearby homeless man engaging in his morning expectorations, so I just got back on my bike and started riding again lest I be forced to witness his blackened lung actually emerging from his mouth like a balloon covered in seaweed.

Still, though, these are definitely the dog days. It's been a long season. Even the pros are feeling it:

After grimacing across the finish line having vomited in his mouth from the effort, American Dave Zabriskie said he thought the course was not ideal for time trial specialists.

That's right, Dave Zabriskie threw up in his mouth a little bit--the same way everyone else did when he released a chamois cream named after his own crotchal region. Cadel, too is feeling it:

"With everything that's gone on in the last three months - I had tendonitis, a huge crash in the Tour de France, defending the yellow (jersey) with only one leg and breaking my anterior cruciate ligament - I was on crutches for three or four days after the Tour," he said.

Indeed, the dog days of summer have driven Cadel Evans, the John Coltrane of excuses, to finally take his excuse-making into the "sheets of sound" phase. It's one thing to blame injuries, but to flat out claim you only had one leg in the Tour de France (yes, I know he's being metaphorical, but I prefer to read it literally) is a statement bold and surreal enough to qualify as art. As time goes on, I hope Cadel adds to his exquisitely-wrought excuse canon. Perhaps he can also say he didn't have a bike, and that he was blind. Maybe he could also tell a tale of how a Succubus came to him in the night and stole his spirit, and how he was forced to waste an entire rest day journeying to the Carpathian mountains in order to retreive it.

But really, who can blame Cadel? Riding your bike every day can become drudgery if you don't take steps to keep it interesting. I myself just put new tires on the ironic Orange Julius bike in order to put that proverbial spring back into my step. Actually, they weren't "new" tires, they were just different old tires. (An essential part of the IOJB's irony is that it does not ever receive new parts.) They were also knobbies, which I had consigned to the recesses of my parts bin as they had become excessively worn. However, I recently had a revelation, which is that a worn knobby is simply a new slick, so I excitedly re-shod the IOJB with them. And I'm glad I did, because not only do I feel like I'm riding a new bike, but there's also still enough residual knobbiness left for them to make that meditative Om-like humming sound on the pavement, thus reinvigorating my sun-baked soul.

In fact, I was feeling so vigorous that I took an entirely different route through Brooklyn to get to Manhattan. Sure, it was still incredibly irritating, but it was irritating in a totally different way. I even took the dreaded Williamsburg Bridge (mostly because I was afraid of encountering the guy on the Manhattan Bridge with the dog brake again). And while I didn't encounter anybody employing hairy mammals as brakes (their own legs excluded), I did encounter the world's most misaligned frame:

It may not look like much in this admittedly blurry and poor picture, but I can assure you that in person this frame was so tweaked it was disorienting. (I've added a little red bracket to emphasise the planar disparity between the front and rear wheels.) Lest you think it's simply the angle of the photograph, rest assured I examined the bike from every angle, and I promise you there's not an axis of symmetry to be discerned from any one of them. Looking at this bike was like looking over the edge of a really tall building, or at this. I don't know what happened to this bicycle, but I really hope this guy wasn't on it when it did.

In order to reorient myself, I had to look at a more run-of-the-mill bicycle:

As I've pointed out before, the popularity of Brooks saddles and their high price relative to the cost of the inexpensive bicycles they're usually affixed to has resulted in a new phenomenon: locking your saddle instead of your front wheel. I'm not sure why you wouldn't just lock the saddle as well both wheels, but perhaps the owner is looking for an excuse to purchase an Aerospoke. Then maybe he can try to set some kind of speed record.

By now I had regained my bearings. I was also back in familiar territory--the bike lane, with a salmon coming right at me:

The only thing more alarming than the approach of a bike salmon who seems more interested in contemplating his 27-inch front tire than the person heading at him with the right of way is the revelation that the bike salmon has also committed the hideous stylistic faux-pas of using what appear to be flop-and-chop handlebars with suicide brake levers:

Yeah, I was really pleased that this guy had a choice of four levers not to pull when he didn't see me. Actually, I'm hoping Cadel sees this. Maybe he can claim he was using the same handlebars, and they cost him the Tour.

New York Times
A ‘Relaxing’ Ride, but Not for the Faint of Heart
New York Times, United States - 14 Aug 2008
... McCartney’s red “USA” T-shirt and remembered something else about my afternoon riding companion: he once worked as a bike messenger in New York City. ...

From The Age, via Richard Dawkins site. At a Shell petrol station in Washington, Rocky Twyman and an unusual group of activists were mad as hell about soaring fuel prices. “Last week,...

Pedaling into problems
Daily Astorian,  USA - 14 Aug 2008
With several partners, he hopes to also get a bike messenger service rolling, pedaling deliveries from business documents to food across downtown Astoria. ...

Yesterday, I mentioned that I was on the hunt for unironic bicycles. Consequently, a few readers were kind enough to forward me photos of their own sincere rides. These bikes were indeed a breath of fresh air, and you can believe me when I say that my thanks is as sincere as their steel, practical, and functional bikes were boring. Ironically, however, on the very day that I announced my search, I came across three of the most ironic bicycles I've ever had the misfortune of encountering.

The first I saw in person yesterday morning on the Manhattan Bridge as I headed into its eponym. As I ascended the span, I passed by a rider going the other direction on what appeared to be a brakeless freewheel Brooklyn Machine Works Gangsta Track and accompanied by a large dog on a leash. Naturally, this was the one day I didn't have my camera on me. (I hadn't felt like lugging the tripod that morning, and the rider probably wouldn't have held still for the 15 or 20 minutes it would have taken me to make a proper daguerrotype anyway.) As if to taunt me, fate saw to it that I was passed by the same rider with the same dog again that very evening. (At least this time I was able to inspect the bike more closely to confirm that it was indeed freewheeled and as brakeless as I was cameraless.) Of course, it only dawned on me later that the dog probably serves as the brake--a revelation that almost knocked me right off my bike. Only Cesar Millan himself could actually use a dog to modulate his speed, and while I don't think the rider was him I can't swear that it wasn't, either. In any case, I'm sure you'd agree that a bike with a dog for a brake is extremely--almost sickeningly--ironic.

Later, I received an email from a reader about an article in the New York Post (home of Andrea Peyser, ironically).

(image by commiecanuk)

In the article, the Post presents its six bike picks, one of which is mind-bendingly ironic:

I think I speak for all of us when I say that I'm sick and tired of these messengers and Williamsburg hipsters on their ironic track bikes with bar-end shifters, cantis, triple cranks, long-cage derailleurs, and 36-spoke wheels.

But without a doubt, the bike that takes the ironic cake (which is of course a big pan of lime green Jell-O) is this one, forwarded to me by an intrepid reader:

You've heard of the TTMBL. You've even heard of the SPMBL. However, it's highly unlikely you've ever encountered the FLMBL (Fork Leg-Mounted Brake Lever). I'm not sure what reason one could possibly have for setting up a bike in such a fashion--besides, of course, the pursuit of pure, unadulterated irony. I suppose it could be that the rider gets so aero that he or she actually grasps the fork legs, and as such likes to have a brake close at hand. Or, judging from the Oury on the downtube (how did that even get on there?!?), this rider could be doing some extremely complicated tricks that involve having one hand on the downtube and the other on the fork. (In the few years that fixed-gear freestyling has taken off, it hasn't really progressed beyond wheelies, barspins, and chainring grinds, but this could be a sign that things are finally changing just in time for it to go out of style.) Personally, I'm contemplating exploring the possible aero benefits by mounting integrated shifters on the fork legs of my road bike. I'm also hoping to one day meet the inventor of the FLMBL, just so I can shake his or her bloodied, spoke-butchered hand.

But let's say you've got an ironic bike--like a Guiseppe Saronni Colnago road frame that's been converted to a brakeless fixed-gear. Where do you put it when you're finished vigorously displaying its irony around the neighborhood at 7mph?

Well, if you're the sort of person who likes limited-edition sneakers and also rides your high-performance race bike in said sneakers, you mount it on a $275 bike rack designed by someone who feels that "the aesthetic of something is more important to me than how well it works."

Because remember: you spent a lot of money on your bike because of the way it looks, not because of the way it works. Why would you hang it on something cheap and functional?

Nanu, aka Sebo, has finally floated his boat. I have been following his progress with interest via the blog, which has been interesting reading. Personally speaking, taking on a project such as...

As I mentioned before, an all-messenger team of Little Jon, Janky James and Car-crusher Ryan will be representing Moving Target in the polo tournament this Sunday. The tournament is part of the...

As the summer wears on, so does the war between cyclists and, well, everybody else--at least in the press. And the latest skirmish appears to be taking place on the bike path in downtown Manhattan, where according to the Downtown Express (whatever that is) cyclists are disregarding signs telling them to dismount their bicycles:

Let's be honest--barring the presence of stairs, no cyclist is going to dismount his or her bike in any outdoor space (especially if he or she is wearing road shoes). Yet as a cyclist, it pains me to read this. Not because my fellow cyclists are disregarding the rules, but because every cyclist should know the proper technique for riding your bicycle where you are legally supposed to walk it, and that is to remain on the bicycle with your feet on the pedals but to squat down on the top tube and roll through slowly without pedaling. Like a dog perking its ears up and wagging its tail, this communicates to pedestrians and law inforcement a message of submission, and while you may not technically be walking the bike you're not riding it either, and that's usually good enough for them. On the other hand, riding through with your hands in the drops and your ass in the air is a clear sign of aggression, and is akin to flattening your ears on your head, barring your teeth, and salivating. And running next to the bike and jumping on and off of it like some kind of confused cyclocross racer (as in the excerpt above) will just make you look stupid.

So while cyclists may be in the news for all the wrong reasons lately, it's important to remember what Oscar Wilde once said, which is that "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." I'm not sure what that means, but I'm guessing it's somehow relevant. But one thing I do know though is the only thing better than being talked about is being talked about by the Opinionated Cyclist:


A reader made me aware of OC a few months ago and I became a fan almost immediately. In fact, I was so enamored of him that I emailed him repeatedly with interview requests like a desperate suitor. Unfortunately, though, no reply was forthcoming, and I eventually resigned myself to a life without OC. That is, until a reader notified me that I had become the subject of a number of his videos.
It seems OC had been put off by what he saw as disrespectful treatment of him on this blog, particularly my portrayal of him in his green face paint, and he has requested in one of his videos that I not post any pictures of him in a "derogatory manner." He's also added a dialogue bubble to his video for emphasis, as you can see above. (I'm hoping that he does not interpret my posting the very picture of him admonishing me as "derogatory.")
Although that video is interrupted by what appears to be a phone call from his mother, in the second video he goes into some detail about how he felt when I contacted him, and in the third he continues to discuss me while simultaneously and deftly incorporating a plug for airfree tires. Perhaps most intriguing (to me anyway) is the proposal he makes to me in the most recent video, in which he suggests we fill in for each-other when we take vacations, and also alludes to his expertise in the area of the "whores in the Philippines."

I would gladly entertain such a proposition (whores excluded), though I'm reluctant to give him my Blogger username and password as he suggests. I'm also reluctant (though oddly tempted) to don the famous OC green face paint and make Youtube videos, which is another one of his ideas. However, I have emailed him as he requested, and I'm hoping that we can find a way to work around these minor impasses and somehow collaborate. Because while such a collaboration would undoubtedly be quite lucrative as he points out, it's you, the reader, who has the most to gain in the currency of entertainment, and as always I will continue to put you before myself.
The truth is, I have a weakness for quixotic quests, and unlocking the riddle of Opinionated Cyclist is one of them. Another one of them is the complete eradication of all pie plates, except for those on fixed-gears. And yet another new one I've recently undertaken is to discover a completely unironic bicycle.
As you may have noticed, the world is now filled with ironic bikes. It's the rare bicycle that doesn't have at least one slightly ironic element, whether it be a tongue-in-cheek sticker, or a retro component on a carbon frame, or an intentionally juvenile bell or something. Even I myself ride an ironic Orange Julius bike (which as I revealed last week does have fenders--a necessity when riding through goose leavings).
But as any resident of Brooklyn, or San Francisco, or Portland can tell you, being surrounded by irony can get quite tiring after awhile. Sure, it can be entertaining at first, but after awhile it becomes really annoying. It's like how when you first get to England you're amused by the fact that the cars are on the wrong side of the road, but after about three or four days you're sick of "looking left" and wish they would just drive the normal way.
So I've been searching for a competely unironic bike. And by "searching" I mean that I've been looking at bikes people are emailing me, as well as at internet galleries. Of course, as you can imagine, this isn't exactly the best way to find a sincere bicycle. For example:

This bicycle, forwarded to me by a reader, is about as ironic as it gets. Modifying a Bianchi so that the downtube reads "Biach" and then placing it in front of a shrine to the Virgin Mary (at least that's who I think it is--remember, I'm an Ultra-Orthodox Jew apparently) is ironic enough to make even the hairs of the most stalwart fixster's ironic moustache stand on end. No sale.


This bicycle was found and photographed in Goa, India by another reader. While also ironic, I feel as though I'm getting closer here, if only because the irony is not intentional. I'm sure whoever labeled the bike did mean to sincerely imply that the bicycle was formidable. Of course, irony abounds here nonetheless, especially because while the bicycle is in fact deadly that's mostly because it's a serious tetanus risk.


This bicycle, forwarded to me by yet another reader, arrived in my inbox only this morning. While bizarre, clearly it is the work of someone who is almost painfully sincere. As wacky a contraption as it is, the rear rack, fenders, and internally-geared hub scream practicality, and the hammock seat is probably supposed to be perineum-friendly. The guy who built this bike probably wears wool socks with sandals, is somehow affiliated with a university, and likely builds lots of other stuff too--he might even have a breakfast machine like Pee Wee Herman. But still, he probably revels in the bike's ugliness, and that's a form of irony, so I'm not going to allow it.

Finally, I checked in over at Fixedgeargallery, where I found this:


First, Aerospokes were just crappy wheels a few people thought were cool. Then, they were hip. Then, people started spelling it "Arrospok" and they became ironic. Now, like any number of ironic accessories and like the fixed-gear craze itself, they've broken on through to the other side and are, once again, just crappy, except now a lot of people think they're cool instead of just a few. Like this guy, which is why he has two of them.



Likewise, showing off both your bike and your torso in a gym is ridiculous, but it's not ironic. Gyms may be full of iron, but they are irony-free zones, and the people who patronize them are generally irony-free as well. For this to be ironic, he would have to know how ridiculous he looks, and I don't think he does.


I guess maybe the fact that he calls himself "Fatty" but isn't might be ironic, but I'd argue instead that it's vain. He wants you to notice he's not a fatty and that he works out. He may or may not also want you to notice that he bears an eerie resemblance to B-Real from Cypress Hill:


However, for me he evoked something more profound that I could only express in this Nigel "The Torch" from "Top Secret!"/Pete Steele from his Carnivore days/Ogre from "Revenge of the Nerds" triptych:



Somehow it just seems to capture the spirit of island-inspired jewelry and testosterone.

There's certainly irony in this shot of the owner in motion:



And that irony lies in the fact that it evokes that same look of surprise, fear, and kinetic urgency you see in the famous Sasquatch photo:



Of course, this irony was probably not intentional, so it should reflect on neither the owner nor the bike. So, having concluded to my own satisfaction that the owner is not an ironic person, and thus is incapable of having built an ironic bicycle, I'm going to declare this bicycle completely irony-free.
Please do your best to disregard the irony of that declaration.

You Can Ride One of Mayor Fenty's Bicycles (But not the really ...
Washington Post, United States - 12 Aug 2008
I took in true bike messenger style, meaning I roared up a wheelchair cut and pumped down the sidewalk, scattering those annoying pedestrians like bowling ...

It would appear that the New York Times article I posted about on Saturday (yes, Saturday--I got out of bed and everything) has once again raised the eternal driver vs. cyclist debate. Personally, I find debates tiresome, and when I sense them coming on I feel that same sense of dread I get when a recumbent rider's dayglo orange flag appears on the horizon, because in both cases I know something dorky and unwieldy is about to follow. What's especially frustrating is that most eternal debates are actually quite easy to settle. Nonetheless, we continue to return to them, like the dog returneth unto his vomit, or like Cadel Evans returneth unto the Tour de France. It's the Sisyphian futility of life.

Of course, part of the problem is that many of us identify too strongly with our vehicles, and we all feel as though everybody else should like them as much as we do, no matter whether that vehicle is a car, or a truck, or a bicycle, or some sort of bathyscape. Consequently, we're often enraged when we don't get that approval--even when our vehicle is kind of goofy. For example, it would appear that last Thursday's post has enraged a group of Mini owners. I have to admit that I didn't see this coming, much like I didn't see the tree that toppled me from my mountain bike some time ago. But I also have to admit that I was pretty stupid not to have expected it--just like I was pretty stupid not to have expected the tree, especially since it has probably been standing in the exact same spot since back when Minis were Austins. Because when Mini drivers order up their rally-inspired sticker kits and strap themselves into their little fun boxes, they feel good about themselves, and they think the rest of the world should feel good about them too.

But that's not how it works. You should respect everything, but you don't have to like anything. When someone sees me out there in my moisture-wicking chicken suit pedaling the ironic Orange Julius bike down to the Jamba Juice store in order to throw rocks through the front window, they don't have to like me, they just have to respect me as a road user. (And trust me, nothing commands respect like a chicken suit.) Nobody's as cool as they think they are, and no matter what, you look ridiculous to somebody.

So the point is: a) don't expect everybody to like your mode of transport, no matter how many wheels it has; and b) if you see someone in a chicken suit surrounded by a bunch of irate Mini drivers, like a scene out of "Maximum Overdrive" by way of Pixar, please stop and say hello. And please also feel free to save me.

That said, I'd like to explore what happens when people use their two-wheeled vehicles as a pretense for social interaction by checking in on the Craigslist Missed Connections:


you were riding your bike with no hands while eating a bagel - w4m - 24 (greenpoint)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-08-08, 8:57PM EDT

i saw you on my way to work this morning riding down manhattan ave towards williamsburg on your bike. i think you were riding a fixed and had dark hair with plugs in your ears? anyways, i was getting on my bike by peter pan bakery when you came barreling down the street right passed me. i was sooo in awe by the sight of it all, i just really want to meet you. it takes skills to ride with no hands and eat a bagel at the same time! i want to learn some tricks too!

Speaking of the driver vs. cyclist debate, this should dispel anybody's misconceptions that cyclists are behaving at all irresponsibly. I like to imagine that the rider was eating an everything bagel with cream cheese and lox, and that as he passed he took a bite of the bagel and a piece of cream cheese-covered lox slipped out of the sandwich and hung there flopping against his chin in the wind. I also like to think that the plugs in his ears were not headphones or jewelry, but were in fact rubber stoppers which he was keeping handy in order to seal his bottle of Cel-Rey. Like the poster, I too want to learn fixed-gear noshing tricks like this. However, I have sense enough to start small, so I've been practicing with bialys.




Obsessed with tacos, coffee; greenish eyes. - w4m - 27 (Williamsburg)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-08-09, 12:59AM EDT

I see you in Williamsburg a lot, eating tacos on the street. Sometimes drinking coffee, maybe it's tea, I don't know. You 're skinny-ish, have longish brownish hair and greeny-blue-y eyes. Once I heard you talking to your friends about Entourage. You have a bike, I think, and I saw you reading Nabakov once, too. I think. Not that I noticed, or anything.

Anyway, you're completely my type.

You looked at me once in a way that made me think, maybe I was your type too.

Obviously, eating ethnic foods is the new bar-spinning, because it's certainly getting the attention of the ladies. Of course, the real question is whether he can consume that taco while riding a fixed-gear, preferably with a couple of corks in his ear for his Jarritos.





Cycler passes up chance to meet Runner (Riverside Dr. & 158th) - w4m (Upper West Side)
Reply to: [deleted]Date: 2008-08-09, 1:51PM EDT

Me: in white shirt, black shorts, sun glasses riding a red Trek mountain bike listening to IPod. You: tall, handsome, with a great smile. I was having such a great workout in the lovely weather today (Saturday, August 9th), I passed up the chance to actually say hello, versus just smile hello. Hope I get a second chance....

Life presents second chances so seldom that I figured I'd help by re-posting this here. Also, I wanted to keep going with the food theme, since we've already seen the whimsical consumption of bagels and tacos, and this person's photos include one of her eating a piece of pizza in a charmingly irreverent fashion. It's a photo that says, "If I can have this much fun just eating pizza, imagine what a blast I am while doing other stuff! Brushing the cat, microwaving popcorn, and purchasing toilet paper are just a few more things I do with wide-eyed abandon and uninhibited joie de vivre." It also complements the other photos, one of which says, "I had a boyfriend until recently," and another of which says, "I have blonde friends for your friends too." But most importantly, I posted this for Amir, since this may very well have been the woman he's been pining for.






Riding My Bike, You Offered Me a BJ - m4w - 26 (Nolita / Bowery)
Reply to: [deleted]Date: 2008-08-10, 1:27AM EDT
You: curly haired, tall standing on Chrystie St. trying to hail a cab with your friend.
Me: dark haired, light blue football jersey, riding a bike
You asked me if I wanted to give you a ride, then said you'd blow me.
Email me
Like I said, life seldom offers you second chances, especially when it comes to random sex acts from strangers. An offer like this is not the sort of thing you mull over for awhile, decide a few hours later you want to act on, and then reply via Craigslist. Not only is the spontaneity gone, but so are whatever intoxicants that were compelling her to make the offer in the first place. In short, you missed your chance. But don't worry, you're probably better off. Life can be Sisyphian enough without also being syphilitic.

I normally don't post on Saturdays, but I am today for two reasons: firstly, I want to end any speculation that I am an Orthodox Jew (not that there's anything wrong with that); and secondly, I want to share the fact that I've been quoted in the New York Times.  It's not every day you're quoted by a newspaper of record, and it's definitely not every day you get to rant about the idiot who almost ran you over in a newspaper of record.
Anyway, thanks to Jan Hoffman and the Times, and thanks everybody for reading.  It's Saturday, though, so get on your bikes.  (Unless of course you're an Orthodox Jew.)
--BSNYC/RTMS

Two of my favourite people got married yesterday. Sorry I couldn’t be there to share it with you. I am sure that all my readers will join me in wishing you happiness, peace and prosperity. ...

Two-wheel mafia
Columbus Other Paper, OH - 8 Aug 2008
“Everyone’s got to have their own epiphany,” said Hootman who remembers the day—July 5, 1998—he fell for cycling when he began working as a bike messenger. ...

We may have had porn this week, but the truth is there's nothing more stimulating than the pornography of knowledge. So in order to get you aroused for the weekend I've prepared another quiz. As usual, read the question, think carefully, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll either see the item or something that makes it clear you're correct. If you're wrong, you'll see this moving Richard Dawson tribute.

Thanks, and good luck.

--RTMS





What can we learn from this forlorn Pista on Williamsburg's Bedford Ave.?

--Always lock both your wheels
--Always bring your bike inside when you spend the night a someone's house, even if their roommate hates bikes, and even if you're so excited to be finally "getting some" you're afraid to leave even for a second lest they come to their senses
--The mechanical abilities of the typical Williamsburger only go so far as removing wheels and seatposts
--All of the above




Which '90s dance music group incorporated bicycle imagery into the video for their biggest hit?

--Bel Biv DeVoe
--Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
--C+C Music Factory
--Brooklyn Machine Works


What's going on here?

--Someone is "Staying Stylish on Two Wheels"
--Someone has gotten his thumb caught in his axle nut
--Someone has a detachable thumb
--Someone is a recovering thumbsucker


What's the best place to see someone with a sleeveless jersey, armwarmers, and a Ksyrium with a pie plate?

--Your local bike shop--Your local triathlon--The Wolfpack Hustle--Your worst nightmare



What is this man doing?

--Flossing his cogs with a homemade u-lock cog cleaner
--Lovingly tending to his pie plate
--Gratuitously showing off his many friendship bracelets
--All of the above



Who are these people?

--Mural artists
--The New York Times 27-inch bicycle tire testing team
--Members of a popular ironic metal cover band, Critical Mastodon
--Just your typical "holier than thou" SRM-addicted roadie elitists

Google recently launched Knol, a collection of user-written articles similar to Wikipedia. It's already off to a ripping start. Which is an actual quote from a Knol about finishing your first triathlon?

--"Take some time to familiarize yourself with marine life, because much of it can be dangerous, and fish can kill."
--"Scott is the new Cervelo, and 700c is the new 650c."
--"Deep-section aero wheels are incompatible with clincher tires."
--"I have no idea what I am talking about, and none of this would withstand FDA scrutiny."

Live Green is on again, on the 17th August at Victoria Park, Sydney and of course BikeSydney will be there.

Live Green - Ideas to green your life

“More than 10,000 people attended the first Live Green event in 2007 and this year’s program promises to offer more innovative and simple practical actions you can take to reduce your environmental impact and help make our Sustainable Sydney 2030 vision a reality.” Lord Mayor Clover Moore MP

So a run down of what is happening on the day visit http://www.cityofsydney.nsw.gov.au/livegreen/. Also the City of Sydney are giving away a new bike, so for a chance of winning that visit http://www.cityofsydney.nsw.gov.au/livegreen/Utilities/Newsletter.aspx.

BikeSydney is a volunteer orgainsation, so if you can lend a hand for an hour or two on the day at the BikeSydney stall that would be great. Basically we will be handing out some maps and information for cycling and also answering questions that people may have. So if you can help email cityride@bikesydney.org.